“I’m just in a constant state of falling & failing. I feel like that’s all I do. I’m trying so hard to reach for grace.”
“Grace is not something you reach for. Grace is something that is poured onto you.”
After this conversation, I found myself a week later in a corner high top table, admitting how heavy sin and shame can be. I did everything I could to hold myself together as sincere closure was graciously given. I was so unaware of the freedom I was about to encounter.
Mercy rains down endlessly on our weary hearts, and we don’t even acknowledge or realize it most of the time. However, there are times when Jesus cracks open the Hoover Dam and the Colorado River drowns you in His Grace. My entire world has been shaken because of this.
Once your world is shaken by this divine reconciliation, you can’t help but smile from ear to ear when “Nothing but the Blood” is played in chapel, or not get goosebumps when the verse, “He washed it white as snow” is sang. And you certainly can’t hold it together in church when you’re receiving Communion as, “You make it beautiful. You make it beautiful,” is repeatedly sung behind you. Grace has a whole new meaning to me now.
God uses the filthiest, ugliest, darkest sins of our past and washes them into a beautiful testimony of His greatness. “And through him God reconciled everything to himself. He made peace with everything in heaven and on earth by means of Christ’s blood on the cross. This includes you who were once far away from God. You were his enemies, separated from him by your evil thoughts and actions. Yet now he has reconciled you to himself through the death of Christ in his physical body. As a result, he has brought you into his own presence, and you are holy and blameless as you stand before him without a single fault.” (Colossions 1: 20-22 NLT)
Our greatest strength is crying out that we are in need of a Savior. That is how utterly powerless we are without Jesus. I pray you allow yourself to dive into this intimate vulnerability and let God make your life into His masterpiece. He blends the dark colors and mistakes right in with His initial sketch. There is absolutely nothing you could do that would make Him love you less.
You are free from all of these transgressions. There is no shame in Him. Your Savior is captivated by you, and see’s you dressed in white, pure, fearfully and wonderfully made, no wrinkle or blemish and most of all, His Beloved Bride.
Let that Grace shake your world. He makes it beautiful.
God’s gracious blessings to you,